The Speaker’s Oath
No Manipulation, No Shortcuts, No Compromise
Keynote speaker, Jay Allen – Founder of My TrueNORTH, the Ethical Coaching Company Image courtesy of: Steven Thompson, ST Audio Visual Ltd
There are things the military teaches you that never leave.
Not the drills. Not even the battlefield skills.
But the standards.
In the Army, the role of the standard bearer was never just ceremonial. Carrying the flag into formation or battle was a position of trust. You weren’t just holding fabric—you were holding identity, values, and the reputation of everyone who stood under it.
You didn’t earn that position because you wanted attention.
You earned it because you could be trusted not to let the standard fall.
And that has shaped how I view speaking ever since.
Because whether people realise it or not, every time you step onto a stage, onto a webinar, or into a room… You are carrying a standard.
The question is: what standard are you carrying?
The standard most people never think about
Over the last 20 years, across 34 countries, I’ve seen every type of speaker you can imagine.
Technically brilliant.
Charismatic performers.
Storytellers who can hold a room effortlessly.
And also…
People who should never have been given the microphone.
Not because they lacked confidence or polish—but because they lacked responsibility.
Because somewhere along the line, speaking stopped being about service and started being about extraction.
You see it in subtle ways at first.
- Over-rehearsed stories designed purely to trigger emotion without substance.
- Content that is recycled regardless of the audience.
- A focus on applause, not application.
But more recently, there’s been a shift into something more concerning.
Techniques being taught—not to help the audience think better—but to bypass their thinking altogether.
I’ve come across “speaker training” where individuals are being taught elements of NLP and even light-touch hypnotic techniques—not as tools for clarity or communication—but as mechanisms to increase compliance.
To “lower resistance.”
To “prime buying states.”
To move people into decisions they weren’t fully intending to make when they walked into the room.
Let’s call that what it is.
It’s not influence.
It’s manipulation.
And it fundamentally breaks the standard.
Why this matters more than people think
Now, you might argue—“But isn’t all speaking about persuasion?”
Yes. But there is a line.
Persuasion respects autonomy.
Manipulation overrides it.
A professional speaker helps someone arrive at a decision that is in their best interest, with full awareness.
An unethical speaker nudges, pressures, or engineers an environment where the decision is made for them—emotionally, subconsciously, or under influence.
That might create short-term sales.
But it erodes long-term trust—not just in that individual, but in the industry as a whole.
And here’s the deeper issue:
When you stand on a stage, you are often positioned as an authority.
People lower their guard.
They assume credibility.
They become more open to suggestion.
That is a position of power.
And power without standards is where things go wrong.
The standard-bearer mindset
This is where the military analogy matters.
Because a standard bearer doesn’t ask:
“How do I maximise what I get from this moment?”
They ask:
“What do I represent in this moment?”
So before anything else, the question remains:
1. Is it me?
Am I the right person to carry this message to this audience, in this context?
Not: Can I deliver it?
But: Should I deliver it?
Because if your primary driver is stage time, visibility, or revenue, you will always find a way to justify saying yes.
But if your driver is responsibility, you will often recommend others or simply say no.
And that is what protects the standard.
2. Client-centric is not a buzzword
If you step forward as the right person, then the focus shifts entirely away from you.
Not your story.
Not your framework.
Not your signature talk.
The audience.
- Who are they really? Not just demographics—but mindset.
- What do they already believe?
- What have they tried that hasn’t worked?
- Where are they sceptical?
- Where are they stuck?
Because if you don’t understand that, you don’t have the right to influence it.
And this is where ethical speaking diverges sharply from what is increasingly being taught in some circles.
The goal is not to “move the room.”
The goal is to meet the room.
There is a difference.
3. Outcome over control
Finally, we get to the content.
And again—the standard matters.
Because there are two very different ways to design a talk:
One is to control the audience’s state.
The other is to elevate their thinking.
Control says:
“How do I get them to feel what I want them to feel so they do what I want them to do?”
Elevation says:
“How do I help them see what they need to see so they can choose what is right for them?”
The first is about compliance.
The second is about clarity.
And clarity is harder.
It requires better thinking.
Better structure.
Better understanding of human behaviour—not to exploit it, but to support it.
It also requires trust in your own value.
Because if you genuinely believe that what you offer can help someone, you don’t need to bypass their critical thinking to sell it.
You can invite them into a decision—openly, honestly, and with full agency.
The line in the sand
This isn’t about calling out individuals.
It’s about calling out a direction of travel.
Because if speaking becomes a vehicle for manipulation, it loses its legitimacy.
And for those of us who have built our careers—and our reputations—on doing this the right way, that matters.
Deeply.
So the line in the sand is simple:
If your methods rely on reducing someone’s ability to think clearly, question, or choose freely…
You’re not carrying a standard.
You’re dropping it.
What a professional actually does
A professional speaker—the kind who deserves the platform they stand on—does three things consistently:
They take responsibility for whether they should be there in the first place.
They build everything around the audience, not themselves.
They design for outcomes that serve the individual, not just the sale.
And above all…
They understand that every time they speak, they are carrying something bigger than themselves.
A message.
A reputation.
A standard.
The only real question is whether they’re worthy of holding it.
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If you are planning an event, a keynote, or a session where the outcome genuinely matters—not just the applause—then the conversation needs to start in a different place.
Not with slides.
Not with stories.
But with standards.
Because the right speaker is not the one with the most polished delivery, but the one best positioned to serve the outcome you need.
Over the past two decades, I have delivered across 34 countries, working with business owners, leadership teams, and organisations navigating growth, complexity, and change. As a former British Army Combat Medic and now Managing Director of My TrueNORTH—The Ethical Coaching Company—I bring a perspective grounded in responsibility, clarity, and results.
My work is centred on helping business owners and leaders move from being the bottleneck in their business to building scalable, sustainable, system-led organisations—without compromising their values.
If you are looking for a speaker, I am happy to have an honest conversation about your event.
And that starts with a simple question:
Am I the right person for you?
If I am, we can explore what outcome you need and how best to achieve it.
If I am not, I will always point you in the direction of someone who is.
Either way, the standard remains the same.
You can see my speaker page/examples of my work here
You can book a conversation here.